One of the positives that came from my losses was the support I received from those around me.  The more I talked to people, the more I realised two very important facts:-

1. There is no recognition for a life lost in early pregnancy

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2. There are so many men and women suffering in silence

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My ambition is for Vera's Wings to change this, and if this means it makes a difference to a single human, then my objective here has been achieved.

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Recognition of Life Lost

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With Sproutly, I had several ultrasound scans, I lay in a darkened room terrified that my worst fears were going to be realised, and then I saw a heartbeat.  I was not allowed to have a copy of that scan due to cost implications.  Weeks later when those fears were finally confirmed, I lay in that room again and saw the same baby with no heartbeat, I was not allowed a copy of that scan due to cost implications.  This of course may differ depending on where you are but for me, this was something that mattered.

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The Wall of Wings is exactly that.  A place of recognition, a place of remembrance.

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Suffering in Silence

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People don't know what to expect, people don't know what to say and so in many cases they say nothing.  In reality, we need to talk, the more we talk about loss in early pregnancy, the more natural and socially acceptable it will become, and the more we will understand those suffering around us.  One of my most poignant moments was a play date with another mum who I did not know well, as so commonly happens, the subject of more children came up, moments later, we were holding hands across the kitchen table with tears in our eyes, comforting one another on a deeper level than either of us would ever have imagined.

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You are not alone, I am not alone, we are not alone.

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Ask me about my babies and you will see a moment of sadness flicker across my face, my eyes may appear watery, and yet you will see the smile also,  To talk about them is to remember them, and remembering them makes my heart hurt gloriously.

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